he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
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My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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