For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
