Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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