i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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