my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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