She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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