I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
