i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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