we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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