I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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