Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
