Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
