Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
