O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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