you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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