i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
