i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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