I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
