nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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