Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she looked like the before picture.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
