just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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