I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
