Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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