thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
