I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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