If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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