bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
please come you make the beer taste better
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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