She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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