3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
