Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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