Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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