We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
