I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
