you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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