you guys were way drunker than both of me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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