He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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