Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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