I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have feelings that need drinking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
