Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
