I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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