We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
