I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Did I show you my penis last night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
