i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
