so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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