Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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