Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
