Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
