Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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