My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
