if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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