Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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