So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
