I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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