I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
