Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
