Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
