GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize