i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
