How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
